My latest pro-life article for January 2014.
Live Action's version.
Catholic Lane's version.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Dear Catholic Sisters - Your Prayers Can Turn Everything Around.
At the beginning of August of 2011, I lost my job. Not long after that, I read an article on the Catholic Match dating website blog by Jessica Zimanske titled, “Study: 75% of women would not marry a jobless boyfriend.” It was hard to read, being freshly unemployed, so I started to dismantle my profile and delete my photo, but something couldn't bring me to finish.
I quickly found another part-time job to scrape by on and joined the ranks of the underemployed. So much of our identity is wrapped up in our work, and a man feels the responsibility before God to provide for his future family. That's not a little pressure. Every day, I find myself surrounded by women whose values don't reflect those of my Catholic faith. Being around women who swear like sailors and are unconcerned about their purity or the state of their soul continues to drive me to Catholic Match to find someone more like-minded.
However, it has become painful for me to see so many beautiful Catholic women on the site while I feel paralyzed and unable to communicate with them. I feel like a prisoner trapped behind a wall of underemployment. I feel so powerless.
In this prison, the advantage is that I have a new understanding of and appreciation about Catholic women as I view their profiles. Their beauty and faith, their prayer and modesty, their grace and desire for natural family planning, their desire to save souls, their intelligence and compassion, their soft voice, their whole selves. This is so precious to me. A Catholic woman is that rare jewel or diamond you find in the sand that you didn't expect. They're worth more than words can say, because they're the fullness of woman.
Every day, I scanned through profiles on Catholic Match and added women I felt most interested in to my favorites list. I longed to protect one of these Catholic women and to gaze into her eyes. I wanted to see her beyond the image on a screen, or to know her beyond an online profile. I desired to touch her hand and console her, to dance with her and bare my soul to her. I wished I could write her notes and letters about how I felt about her. I wanted for her to be safe, secure and happy. But is all this just a dream? What is real is my aching heart that longs for her.
As I continue my job search through every hour, every day, and every week that passes; I must endure every closed door, rejected phone call and letter. I recite countless novenas and pleas to God, but to no avail. For some mystery, God doesn't give the green light, and He doesn't open the door. He holds me in my place, but the desire in my heart remains, so I can’t leave Catholic Match fully.
Fasting from her is the only true fast, for no amount of cold or heat, no foul weather nor can lack of sleep keep me from a chance to love her. I don't know the will of God tomorrow and I don't have much except a ton of hope. I wonder if hope will finally break through the wall that keeps me from her.
Fire proves true worth, and passing through the burning is for a reason, but still I wonder if I will ever come out of the burning. Will I ever see the water again?
Then, as the morning light dawns, I find an emotigram sent from a beautiful female member of Catholic Match. I renew membership and my strength is renewed. She doesn't reject me because of my employment status. We become friends.
If you're a Catholic woman and alone and suffering, know that your devotion is not un-noticed, that you're not un-loved. You're more than worth the burning and I bow to you. I truly honor you. I thank God He made you. In the walls of this prison, I have learned truly what you are, and what you are is truly God's masterpiece. I didn't know that outside these walls. In here, apart from you, it is forever burned in my heart.
Although we may have to wait for that job, Catholic Match members can continue to make friends on the site until God gives the green light. I'm glad I didn't leave Catholic Match fully, for the friend I made accepts me as I am now, and not for what I can become, and that was what I needed most.
Please dear Catholic sisters, pray for us to find stable employment so we can court you and no longer be inhibited from pursuing and loving you. Your prayers can turn everything around.
I quickly found another part-time job to scrape by on and joined the ranks of the underemployed. So much of our identity is wrapped up in our work, and a man feels the responsibility before God to provide for his future family. That's not a little pressure. Every day, I find myself surrounded by women whose values don't reflect those of my Catholic faith. Being around women who swear like sailors and are unconcerned about their purity or the state of their soul continues to drive me to Catholic Match to find someone more like-minded.
However, it has become painful for me to see so many beautiful Catholic women on the site while I feel paralyzed and unable to communicate with them. I feel like a prisoner trapped behind a wall of underemployment. I feel so powerless.
In this prison, the advantage is that I have a new understanding of and appreciation about Catholic women as I view their profiles. Their beauty and faith, their prayer and modesty, their grace and desire for natural family planning, their desire to save souls, their intelligence and compassion, their soft voice, their whole selves. This is so precious to me. A Catholic woman is that rare jewel or diamond you find in the sand that you didn't expect. They're worth more than words can say, because they're the fullness of woman.
Every day, I scanned through profiles on Catholic Match and added women I felt most interested in to my favorites list. I longed to protect one of these Catholic women and to gaze into her eyes. I wanted to see her beyond the image on a screen, or to know her beyond an online profile. I desired to touch her hand and console her, to dance with her and bare my soul to her. I wished I could write her notes and letters about how I felt about her. I wanted for her to be safe, secure and happy. But is all this just a dream? What is real is my aching heart that longs for her.
As I continue my job search through every hour, every day, and every week that passes; I must endure every closed door, rejected phone call and letter. I recite countless novenas and pleas to God, but to no avail. For some mystery, God doesn't give the green light, and He doesn't open the door. He holds me in my place, but the desire in my heart remains, so I can’t leave Catholic Match fully.
Fasting from her is the only true fast, for no amount of cold or heat, no foul weather nor can lack of sleep keep me from a chance to love her. I don't know the will of God tomorrow and I don't have much except a ton of hope. I wonder if hope will finally break through the wall that keeps me from her.
Fire proves true worth, and passing through the burning is for a reason, but still I wonder if I will ever come out of the burning. Will I ever see the water again?
Then, as the morning light dawns, I find an emotigram sent from a beautiful female member of Catholic Match. I renew membership and my strength is renewed. She doesn't reject me because of my employment status. We become friends.
If you're a Catholic woman and alone and suffering, know that your devotion is not un-noticed, that you're not un-loved. You're more than worth the burning and I bow to you. I truly honor you. I thank God He made you. In the walls of this prison, I have learned truly what you are, and what you are is truly God's masterpiece. I didn't know that outside these walls. In here, apart from you, it is forever burned in my heart.
Although we may have to wait for that job, Catholic Match members can continue to make friends on the site until God gives the green light. I'm glad I didn't leave Catholic Match fully, for the friend I made accepts me as I am now, and not for what I can become, and that was what I needed most.
Please dear Catholic sisters, pray for us to find stable employment so we can court you and no longer be inhibited from pursuing and loving you. Your prayers can turn everything around.
Last Day of Religious Life, Now What?
It was around 8:00 pm and my last night at the Monastery. I knew I had gone as far as I could in the religious life and I decided it was time to leave. I had everything packed. Our Major Superior was gone overseas for a few weeks so the Father in charge announced to the brothers after evening prayer that I would be leaving tomorrow. He let me say goodbye to each one. I was in a small visitor’s room as one by one each brother came in to say goodbye. Some seemed shocked and confused, others angry, which made me feel like I was some kind of traitor, and still one brother happy oddly enough. Maybe I was too rough with him at sports I thought?
My brother and nephew finally arrived after a 10 hour drive to pick me up. My Superior had told me previously that I was on my own in getting back home. The community would not help me. I was grateful my bro came for me. It would have been a long, cold, hike back in the middle of December.
The next morning around 6:00 am before silent prayer I left my cell for the last time. I met my brother and nephew in the back of the Monastery near the kitchen where his truck was parked.
I was also told to meet in the back without my habit so the novices wouldn’t see me or be scandalized. It made me feel like a criminal. I followed orders and put my luggage in the back of my brother’s truck. The Father came and said one last thing to me as I left that I will never forget, he said, “I hope you get to Heaven.”
It was a bizarre time in my life. Like living a dream or being a character in some strange movie.
As we headed past endless corn fields I doubted I would ever return to that place that had been my home for the last two years. For over a year I had been wearing the habit and going by a religious name. It was an adjustment to be wearing blue jeans and being called by my real name again.
As we cruised along the highway, I saw a billboard with our newly elected President Obama on it. When I had entered religious life in 2007 things were good, the economy was fine, jobs were plentiful, but now in “09,” I saw how much the world had changed since I left it. For two years no TV, internet, phone calls, or newspapers. Seeing Obama’s face on the billboard made me feel like we were traveling through some foreign occupied country at war. There was no sun that day, just overcast gloom, like how I felt inside.
We stopped to eat at an Arby’s. People looked anxious to me. So many unhappy faces. My brother told me of the many long lines in front of Subways and other fast food places were common as many people hoped for any kind of work. In this part of the country, jobs had become real scarce since the housing market crashed the previous year.
I was going back to a place where there wasn’t much work. Many in my family were either laid off or looking for work. When we finally arrived home there was snow everywhere. There were some changes to the city. A new bank I noticed. I can’t say that I was thrilled to be back. What are they going to think of me at Church without the habit I wondered?
I had no car. I gave away a lot of my stuff. I had no plan. My post religious life began that day and continues. Waiting for restoration. Trying for a comeback. In between the religious life and the world is not easy. I truly felt like an exile, forsaken. I came across a devotional prayer book to Our Lady of Sorrows during Christmas. She and Joseph were exiles around this time many centuries ago. Did they have a plan? Did anyone support them? Weren’t they forsaken as well?
Within the prayer book I found a litany to Our Lady of Sorrows. She had the title “Protectress of the Forsaken.” I took her as my own that night. Although I know God never forsakes us, the world can, so for all those suffering a divorce, a death of a loved one, being without work, or lost after religious life or seminary experiences and back in the tumultuous seas of the world, take Our Lady as your special Protectress. She, who suffered exile like us, can protect forsaken souls struggling in the world as they try to find their way Home.
Doc Baker On The Age Difference In Dating
Often, singles bump into members of the opposite sex that they’re attracted to, but are either much older or younger than themselves. How big can that age difference be before it is considered taboo? Is seven years acceptable, ten, fifteen? More?
It was during my days as a dishwasher at a casino restaurant, years ago, that led me to seek an answer to this question. I had made many visits to a religious community and was preparing to enter, but before I left, I met a woman who nearly derailed my plans. Carrie was hired to work at the casino’s snack bar. She was a 19 year old blonde bombshell. I was 31.
Carrie’s red lips, and the way the sun was caught in her beautiful hair, infatuated every guy who laid eyes on her, and I was no different. She was outgoing, never had anything negative to say, and had a way of making you feel so good. We talked a lot during downtime and became good friends. Over a short period of time, I began to have strong feelings for her.
I thought she was too young for me, but everyone else said it was fine. My heart became divided between Carrie and the religious life. I wrestled with the decision for months. Then, one day while I was channel surfing before work, I came across an episode of Little House On The Prairie called, “Doctors Lady.”
It was about a girl named Kate who was in town to visit her aunt, Mrs. Oleson. Kate was around 18 years old, but she fell in love with Doc Baker, of all people, and he with her. As the show progressed, Doc Baker became tortured by the fact that he, a middle-aged man, was in love with a woman several decades younger than himself. He liked being loved by her and knew it was good for him, but he realized it wasn’t good for her.
At the end of the show, good Doc told Kate they couldn’t marry and broke her heart. As she left town on a stage coach, a sad Doc Baker watched from his bedroom window. The show had a huge impact on me. Carrie was an awesome girl, but I felt the same way about her that Doc had felt about Kate. I looked up at the stars one night, saw what was before me, and made my decision. On my last day of work, I saw Carrie and told her I was leaving. She smiled and didn’t seem sad at all; she gave me a hug that melted my heart and felt so good that I asked for another, and then another. As the Beetles’ “Don’t Leave Me Standing Here,” blared in the background, I left that girl happy that she would be fine. I loved her the same way Doc loved Kate, and we both expressed our love by letting go.
So how many years can separate a couple? There really doesn't seem to be a rule except for the one you find within your conscience. Only you can know if a person is right for you or not. Some, you have to let go.
It was during my days as a dishwasher at a casino restaurant, years ago, that led me to seek an answer to this question. I had made many visits to a religious community and was preparing to enter, but before I left, I met a woman who nearly derailed my plans. Carrie was hired to work at the casino’s snack bar. She was a 19 year old blonde bombshell. I was 31.
Carrie’s red lips, and the way the sun was caught in her beautiful hair, infatuated every guy who laid eyes on her, and I was no different. She was outgoing, never had anything negative to say, and had a way of making you feel so good. We talked a lot during downtime and became good friends. Over a short period of time, I began to have strong feelings for her.
I thought she was too young for me, but everyone else said it was fine. My heart became divided between Carrie and the religious life. I wrestled with the decision for months. Then, one day while I was channel surfing before work, I came across an episode of Little House On The Prairie called, “Doctors Lady.”
It was about a girl named Kate who was in town to visit her aunt, Mrs. Oleson. Kate was around 18 years old, but she fell in love with Doc Baker, of all people, and he with her. As the show progressed, Doc Baker became tortured by the fact that he, a middle-aged man, was in love with a woman several decades younger than himself. He liked being loved by her and knew it was good for him, but he realized it wasn’t good for her.
At the end of the show, good Doc told Kate they couldn’t marry and broke her heart. As she left town on a stage coach, a sad Doc Baker watched from his bedroom window. The show had a huge impact on me. Carrie was an awesome girl, but I felt the same way about her that Doc had felt about Kate. I looked up at the stars one night, saw what was before me, and made my decision. On my last day of work, I saw Carrie and told her I was leaving. She smiled and didn’t seem sad at all; she gave me a hug that melted my heart and felt so good that I asked for another, and then another. As the Beetles’ “Don’t Leave Me Standing Here,” blared in the background, I left that girl happy that she would be fine. I loved her the same way Doc loved Kate, and we both expressed our love by letting go.
So how many years can separate a couple? There really doesn't seem to be a rule except for the one you find within your conscience. Only you can know if a person is right for you or not. Some, you have to let go.
Guys from Christian Dating Sites: The Top 10 Reasons Why She Doesn't Respond to You:
1. She’s not into your career choice: Professional Adventurer.
2. She's not buying into the red-hot Porsche you’re standing in front of in your profile photo when your career description is Sheep Herder.
3. The digitized halo over your head and aura of sanctifying light you photo shopped into your picture is freaking her out.
4. She thinks it’s a stretch that you live in Milwaukee and she lives in Turkmenistan.
5. You say you're a pious Christian boy, yet your body is covered with Mega-Death tattoos.
6. You have given the name and exact number of kids you want, four: - Gino, Tito, Biff, and Rocky.
7. You say you finally got women figured out-after 40 girlfriends.
8. Your profile says you don't drink, yet every scrapbook photo shows you holding a Budweiser.
9. Unfortunately, she likes the Green Bay Packers while you like the awesome Detroit Lions!
10. You have lived through five decades - she only two.
Fellows, if you're not getting results from your profile, keep it real, fly low and under the radar, and never tell women you're a non-committal. There is only one James Bond, one Bear Grylls, and one Jean Claude Van Damme, and none of us are any of them. So be yourself, pray for a miracle, and hope one of these girls is desperate enough to give you a chance.
2. She's not buying into the red-hot Porsche you’re standing in front of in your profile photo when your career description is Sheep Herder.
3. The digitized halo over your head and aura of sanctifying light you photo shopped into your picture is freaking her out.
4. She thinks it’s a stretch that you live in Milwaukee and she lives in Turkmenistan.
5. You say you're a pious Christian boy, yet your body is covered with Mega-Death tattoos.
6. You have given the name and exact number of kids you want, four: - Gino, Tito, Biff, and Rocky.
7. You say you finally got women figured out-after 40 girlfriends.
8. Your profile says you don't drink, yet every scrapbook photo shows you holding a Budweiser.
9. Unfortunately, she likes the Green Bay Packers while you like the awesome Detroit Lions!
10. You have lived through five decades - she only two.
Fellows, if you're not getting results from your profile, keep it real, fly low and under the radar, and never tell women you're a non-committal. There is only one James Bond, one Bear Grylls, and one Jean Claude Van Damme, and none of us are any of them. So be yourself, pray for a miracle, and hope one of these girls is desperate enough to give you a chance.
The White Rose
The white rose is a mystical ring of love,
a symbol of hope that will forever warm your heart.
Even though that flower soon fades,
the petals fall, the stem withers,
the bond of faith between you and your Beloved
will remain, always and forever.
When two souls love each either,
they need fewer and fewer words
to express their love for one another.
You know what your Beloved is thinking
before a single word is spoken.
You're His song now, His every breath.
Your spouse, you see Him when you close your eyes,
there you find Him waiting for you,
His gaze always on you, at every moment.
The white rose from whence the two have become one.
a symbol of hope that will forever warm your heart.
Even though that flower soon fades,
the petals fall, the stem withers,
the bond of faith between you and your Beloved
will remain, always and forever.
When two souls love each either,
they need fewer and fewer words
to express their love for one another.
You know what your Beloved is thinking
before a single word is spoken.
You're His song now, His every breath.
Your spouse, you see Him when you close your eyes,
there you find Him waiting for you,
His gaze always on you, at every moment.
The white rose from whence the two have become one.
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